Teacher Goes Missing, Reward Offered

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Mr. Crabtree, holding a large assembly of balloons, was last seen at the Bangor Comic-Con.

Bob Gray

BANGOR—A Bangor High teacher has gone missing, causing concern among students and teachers, alike, and a reward has been offered for his safe return.

English Teacher Mr. Crabtree was last seen wearing a yellow rain jacket and holding a large assembly of balloons. The contrasts between the writings of local hero Stephen King and his risky choice of dress hasn’t gone unnoticed.

“Obviously, someone who purposely dresses as Georgie Denbrough is daring the universe to swallow him whole,” observed fellow English teacher Mr. Barnett. 

But the Stephen King link isn’t the only lead being followed. 

“The recent Bangor Comic-Con could be the answer we’re searching for,” said vice principal Mr. Doyle. “Considering how he was dressed wearing a yellow rain jacket and holding a large assembly of balloons, he’s probably wherever Comic-Cons go after they leave town.” 

Staff from the school have raised funds to purchase a collection of unwanted and unwatchable low-budget horror DVDs from Uncle Henry’s and some Funko POP! TV Stranger Things toys. The feeling is if he’s actually just hiding these things will lure him out. 

But, there’s one outcome that worries people the most. Considering he was wearing a yellow rain jacket and holding a large assembly of balloons, Mr. Crabtree may have simply been arrested and detained by the fashion police.

That, most would say, is the most likely explanation of his disappearance.