“New Roof” Project Just a Giant Swimming Pool


BANGOR–An inside source from the Devoe Construction Company revealed to the RamPage on Monday that the $4 million “roof renovations” at Bangor High were really just a coverup story.

In reality, the construction company is building an Olympic-size swimming pool, “exclusively for the use of the BHS front office.”

Allegedly, the pool will be heated during the winter and will be complete with a diving board, volleyball net, and whirlpool.

Rampage reporters attempted to interview Mr. Doyle, who, after turning bright red, would only tell us to “not be ridiculous,” and that “taxpayer dollars are definitely being put to good use with the poo-excuse me, the ROOF project.”

It should be noted that Mr. Doyle seemed to be sweating profusely, and RamPage reporters spotted him frantically whispering into his radio shortly after the interview.